living next door to Challis.

By Challi

Challis? Who the fuck is Challis?

Well since you asked, let me just get a little history of the Challis family out of the way first. 9 or so years ago, me and my family lived next door to where we live now. Then we moved to where we are now upon the realisation that nobody actually lives next to us on this side. We then just rented out our old house to several different people and we get a little bit richer because of it. Who knows? Maybe we'll end up buying all the houses on our street and then maybe the whole of Littlehampton and have monopoly over it and paint all the houses green and add in some hotels which are red and have chimneys for some reason. Kind of like this:


Yessir, we'll have complete monopoly over our suburb, just like that board game where you try to gain a monopoly over everything, y'know, chess.

The people currently renting our house appear to be a family of 3 who ironically look homeless and obviously have minimal possessions that don't include a razor or soap. They used to live in one of those Housing Trust houses where the house is practically free. Apparently they left because the house was a little bit too small. Sounds like a dumb excuse to me, there's only 3 people in the family and the house is free anyway! It's fucking free! Who gives a shit if it's a little small? I'd live in a 2 room house with no toilets if it was free. Oh well, I guess beggars can be choosers and these people look an awful lot like beggars.

One time when I was walking home I saw the sasquatch father and the son of this family playing cricket with none of the actual equipment you need to play cricket but I'm sure they were still kind of playing cricket. They had a tennis ball for a ball, a wheelie bin for wickets and, here's the quencher, a tennis racquet for a bat. OK, the tennis ball I can understand because it bounces better, the wheelie bin I can understand because, let's face it, nobody actually owns a set of wickets but a freaking tennis racquet? No! Uh uh. That's just not cricket. That's a travesty my dear sir. I would of leant them my brother's Gray Nicholls cricket bat if he didn't take it with him. Hell, even a plastic cricket bat would of been good. But no, they play cricket with a tennis racquet. There's only one thing I have to say about that:

Shame Shame Shame

What annoys me the most is that these losers think they have a right to complain that the bathroom is a bit dirty. Wa wa wa, call a wambulance. We're the poor people who have to watch these ugly neanderthals play cricket with a tennis racquet in our backyard while their ute rusts outside. They have no right to complain at all. I hate how the bottom rungs of society feel they can bitch about anything their superiors do when they're not exactly setting the best example either. Now I know how the Prime Minister feels.

and if those people don't clean up themselves and their act, I guess they've got to get used to not living next door to Challis.
-C