Monday, January 22, 2007

blue dodo down.

By Challi

I'm bringing blogging back (yeah), them other n00bs don't know how to act.

Yes, I had a nice half of a summer holiday that involved me getting drunk off my ass at my brother's wedding and watching the worst of daytime TV and overall just avoiding this blog, thanks for asking. However, now I'm back from outer space and you just walked in to find me here with that sad look upon my face. Should you have changed that stupid lock or even made me leave my key if you had known for just one second I'd be back to follow you?

*water splashes on face*

Ok, back to business. Let's start this blogging year with a pointless rant about an annoying ad.

Not only is this ad annoying, it is also immoral and just downright evil. It's bad enough that Dodo Australia has played God by resurrecting an extinct bird and painting it blue in order to sell their services but they also are playing on people's addictions to sell their services too.

In this ad, there are people in a group counselling session ala Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous where they go around the circle and everyone states their name and tells everyone that they have an addiction or dependency. In this case, they are apparently all mobile phone addicts. The first guy stands up and states his name and says he is a mobile phone junkie. The next person is an overtly happy woman who just says "I don't have a problem because my mobile charges are half price!"

Wrong! It's wrong!

If it's an addiction then the idea of getting it cheaper won't stop the addiction, it would only make it worse! That's like going into a Narcotics Anonymous meeting and saying "I don't have a problem with my addiction to crack anymore because I know a place where I can get 10kg of crack for 50 bucks!" How much it costs shouldn't be the problem, it should have something to do with, oh I don't know, how much it can kill you? How much you get addicted to it and ruin your life? Even if the addiction is mobile phones, the radiation poisoning can kill you and you're always paying for it anyway and yeah, it damn well ruins your life! So for ruining everybody's life, Dodo, Derryn Hinch just has this to say to you:

Shame, Shame, Shame

Oh wait, while I still have Derryn Hinch, he also has this to say to you:

Paw-paw because you pour pour the milk, Mango because it makes a man go.



Oh, and this:


A licky boom boom down

*Water splashes on face*

Where's all this water coming from?

Before I stop wasting your time, another ad I hate is that god damn ad for Off! insect repellent. Sure we should be concerned that it's called "Off!" but there's more. In it, there is some family outside going all "I don't think I've got it on but you've got it on well I've got it on let's get it on and something about mosquitos".

Now look, I don't mind American ads on television, but they shouldn't need to dub everyone with Australian accents when we can plainly see that the ad was American to begin with. Australians don't look like that, and if we know they're not Australian then your pathetic attempt to make it seem like it's a product of Australia has failed miserably. This isn't the only ad where they do it either, and it's always painfully obvious when they do. Stop dubbing ads, thanks.

-C

Sunday, January 07, 2007

welcome to 2007!

By PJK

Happy New Year!!! Wooo!

With 2006 now little more than a drunken haze somewhere at the back of our collective memories, it's time to embrace 2007.

Why? Because as Julian Baggini notes:
Even if you have had a happy Christmas and flourished in 2006, the changing of the calendars is a rude reminder that the Grinch of Time has just walked off with another year. And he is an unrelenting thief who's going to carry on taking every hour, minute and second from us until we have none left.
That goddamn Grinch of Time! I for one am sick of his thieving ways. Stealing all our precious moments and bagging them up in his big hessian sack. How dare he?!

No doubt the Grinch of Time has already pawned our favourite years down at his local Cash Converters. I bet they gave him a good price for the year 2000. That was a damn good year. A premium time to be alive. 2006 on the other hand probably would have only bagged him about 20 bucks. Oh well. Keep on trucking oh Grinch of Time. Someday you'll have enough money to buy that place you were after.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go eat some macadamia nuts before the Grinch of Time steals them too.