By Challi
No matter how many fun songs are sung about it on Sesame Street and Play school, nothing can make the concept of brushing your teeth fun. It's just a stupid meaningful task which we all feel we have to do because we want our teeth to still be attached at 30 and hate the idea of gingivitis and bloated gums. Trouble is, we - and by that I mean me - tend to avoid it because it takes off 2 minutes of my life that I could be using for playing video games, which is so much more important to me. Hedonism comes before personal hygiene all the time. Also, if I miss the bus, I'd hate it to be for the reason I was taking care of myself. Another thing I hate about brushing my teeth is that I like to put extra toothpaste on the brush just to be sure of clean teeth and a lot of that ends up on my shirt, and that always looks a little suss.
but even though I can't be bothered to find time to do it and I hate the mess, it's a task that must be done. So after about a year of neglecting my teeth, I've been combining the frivolous brushing of my teeth with a task that I love doing and feel more obligated to do that doesn't get toothpaste on my shirt and also make it seem like I give a crap about saving water for those farmers whining about the drought.
I've been brushing my teeth in the shower.
Now, I'm sure I'm not the first person to come up with this idea but I'm sure as hell taking credit for it because it's brilliant. I just brush my teeth during my shower and use the water pelting down to rinse my mouth and clean off the brush when I'm done. It's also a great excuse to stay in the shower a little longer and I'm obviously not wearing my clothe in the shower so the stains won't still be there after I clean the toothpaste off my chest.
Now if you want to rip off this idea which I'm sure I unintentionally ripped off someone else, if that makes sense at all, be my guest. Just make sure you don't get the toothpaste tube mixed up with the shampoo bottle, which may induce tragic results.
Just saying
-C
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
officially un-Australian.
By PJK
Yes, that's right. I am now officially un-Australian. Explanation follows.
When you log into MSN Messenger, you have the option of displaying "MSN Today", which summarises the daily news as decided by our good friends over at Murdoch's Nine Network. You know this already, but read on! Each day it has a user poll pertaining to a particular news item, which is the main reason I look at it rather than turning it off — the polls are always so absurdly biased, set-up or worded in such a way that they almost always coincide with the government's latest talking-points, or whatever blatant rightwingery Rupert Murdoch has decided we ought to be buying-into at the moment.
Today's poll is possibly the most outrageous I've seen thus far: "should the government cap immigration for particular religions?" If you didn't manage to take that in properly at first glance, what it's asking is this: should the government limit the number of people belonging to a certain religion from living in Australia or not.
Here's what MSN users have to say thus far:
And gee, I wonder what the "particular religion" is they had in mind?
Democracy, people. Ever hear of it? It entitles people to certain freedoms. One of those freedoms is the one that allowed you (and I'm now addressing the average Joe nationalists who voted yes in the above poll) to wake up this morning without being beaten to within an inch of your life by men with large sticks, for example. There are others.
One freedom that we've associated with democracy since, well, let's say the American Revolution OVER 200 YEARS AGO, is called Freedom of Religion. The deal is, you get to worship whatever make-believe deity you want, and get this: as a bonus, you don't get a hot iron rod inserted into your anus (ala a certain Spanish Inquisition). Until recently it has generally been thought of as a good idea.
But I guess now you want to shit upon that idea huh? Those Muslims, they don't respect OUR way of life, do they? And terrorism and things. Therefore we don't want THEM coming HERE anymore. Yeah, I can totally understand where you're coming from. I get your line of thinking. Oh wait, hang on a mo', THAT'S RETARDED.
Religion and culture are two different things. The former is just an idea. The latter is how you put it into practice. Now I'm not saying there aren't aspects of people's culture that are definately NOT compatible with the Australian way of life. There most certainly are. Treating women like sub-human scum for example is going to get me very mad at you indeed. Blowing yourself and others to smithereens in order to promote medieval bullshit like Sharia law is another. That kind of shit severely riles me.
But belief in a particular God or a particular Holy Book is no basis for discrimination in any civilised society, and until recently I was sort of hoping Australia was still one of those. If the majority of you fucktards though want to make this country into one giant Cronulla riot then I guess that makes me what you're not.
And judging by the Stormfront posters I've been seeing all over town, including at the bus stop by my house, I guess such thinking is becoming the norm.
Guess that makes me un-Australian. Meh.
Enjoy your Crusade, bitches.
Yes, that's right. I am now officially un-Australian. Explanation follows.
When you log into MSN Messenger, you have the option of displaying "MSN Today", which summarises the daily news as decided by our good friends over at Murdoch's Nine Network. You know this already, but read on! Each day it has a user poll pertaining to a particular news item, which is the main reason I look at it rather than turning it off — the polls are always so absurdly biased, set-up or worded in such a way that they almost always coincide with the government's latest talking-points, or whatever blatant rightwingery Rupert Murdoch has decided we ought to be buying-into at the moment.
Today's poll is possibly the most outrageous I've seen thus far: "should the government cap immigration for particular religions?" If you didn't manage to take that in properly at first glance, what it's asking is this: should the government limit the number of people belonging to a certain religion from living in Australia or not.
Here's what MSN users have to say thus far:
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK???
And gee, I wonder what the "particular religion" is they had in mind?
Democracy, people. Ever hear of it? It entitles people to certain freedoms. One of those freedoms is the one that allowed you (and I'm now addressing the average Joe nationalists who voted yes in the above poll) to wake up this morning without being beaten to within an inch of your life by men with large sticks, for example. There are others.
One freedom that we've associated with democracy since, well, let's say the American Revolution OVER 200 YEARS AGO, is called Freedom of Religion. The deal is, you get to worship whatever make-believe deity you want, and get this: as a bonus, you don't get a hot iron rod inserted into your anus (ala a certain Spanish Inquisition). Until recently it has generally been thought of as a good idea.
But I guess now you want to shit upon that idea huh? Those Muslims, they don't respect OUR way of life, do they? And terrorism and things. Therefore we don't want THEM coming HERE anymore. Yeah, I can totally understand where you're coming from. I get your line of thinking. Oh wait, hang on a mo', THAT'S RETARDED.
Religion and culture are two different things. The former is just an idea. The latter is how you put it into practice. Now I'm not saying there aren't aspects of people's culture that are definately NOT compatible with the Australian way of life. There most certainly are. Treating women like sub-human scum for example is going to get me very mad at you indeed. Blowing yourself and others to smithereens in order to promote medieval bullshit like Sharia law is another. That kind of shit severely riles me.
But belief in a particular God or a particular Holy Book is no basis for discrimination in any civilised society, and until recently I was sort of hoping Australia was still one of those. If the majority of you fucktards though want to make this country into one giant Cronulla riot then I guess that makes me what you're not.
And judging by the Stormfront posters I've been seeing all over town, including at the bus stop by my house, I guess such thinking is becoming the norm.
Guess that makes me un-Australian. Meh.
Enjoy your Crusade, bitches.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
