Thursday, August 30, 2007

to be or not to be, that is the equestrian.

By Challi

Just felt like sharing with you a great hidden treasure I found at JB Hi-Fi!


That's right, equestrian challenge! You've fallen asleep to it during the olympics, now you can live the tedium! Trotting my horse around a field while a bunch of old people with monocles look on is lots of fun! Whoa, be careful your horse doesn't halt in the wrong place, that was a close one! Oh you can just smell the grass growing.

You can even customise your rider, with all the dorky headgear and tanned tight pants you can think of. The only way they could make a game like this game even more fun is if it was a completely different game altogether and not one where the world's most boring sport is utilised in a video game! I mean c'mon, equestrian? It doesn't deserve it's own video game, and why Lucinda Green, whoever the hell she is, reckoned she was worthy of a video game just because she is tops in an obscure sport, is beyond comprehension.

and who the hell would be the market for this game? Kids and uni students, of whom are the main consumers in the video game market, would definitely not fork out their undeserved cash for a sport sim about a sport that only old fuddy duddies like. Said old fuddy duddies, who like the sport of equestrian, obviously don't play video games because they're not into video games and wouldn't play them anyway because their arthritis has completely screwed up their hands.

So who would want this game? Nobody. I'd be surprised if anyone even thought about buying it, though I'm sure those people who did buy it did it on impulse and didn't think about it at all, then came home and just realised what they just did and headbutted several holes in their wall.

At the end of the thought, it's just some weirdos trying to cover every sport simulation ever (case in point, World Championship Darts) and congratulations guys, you did it! Now enjoy having no money.

Some treasures are just meant to stay hidden. Frankly, I hope this one gets hit with equine flu.

-C

3 comments:

jsb said...

They haven't developed a synchronized swimming video game yet!

Challi said...

I'd buy something like that if they did it in the gameplay style of Bust A Groove or Dance Dance Revolution.

Challi said...

actually, if that's the case, I'd probably just buy Bust A Groove or Dance Dance Revolution instead.