I'm all for the upcoming wave of live-action movie remakes of old cartoons. They're great for nostalgia value and good fun for the adults who grew up on them to take their kids to so that they can wonder why the hell their parents liked crap like this. It's also a great distraction for Hollywood to give to the moviegoers until they can actually come up with something original. I can't wait to see how Hollywood have remade Speed Racer, Tintin and The Jetsons using their own unique adaptations which are still somehow loyal to the original show in some way.
However, I do have some sort of dignity and, although I know I should never judge a movie by its poster, I think I'm going to have to try to avoid the following movie. I think it speaks for itself:
but yeah, back to the animal sounds farm. To the untrained eye, it's just a crappy fiberglass toy barn with crappy toy animals that make sounds for the kids playing with it to listen to, and even to the trained eye it still probably seems like that. However, according to the ad for this product, it's more than that. Apparently it "gives kids a real feel for working on the farm".
Yes, because clearly all that farmers do is sit around and listen to their animals make noises. Forget about trying to make a profit off of them, they must of only bought their animals so they can listen to them and then go to sleep. Job done, now they can retire because they've listened to their animals make animal noises! Shut up, I was being sarcastic.
What this toy should really have to give kids a feel of life in the farm is to have toy crops and a sunlamp and have the crops be harmed by the suns powerful rays and lack of water so much that they die and be rendered useless so they have to be fed to the livestock. That's right, the toy should be drought-affected! Oh the fun the kids shall have when they learn how it sucks to be a farmer. Either that, or change the product's stupid slogan to something like "It gives kids a real feel of what it's like to play with a fiberglass toy barn that has toy animals in it that make noises" because that's what they're actually doing!
and here's an ad that's been freaking me out, for Coke and Coke Zero:
Ok, that's completely scared me off of Coca Cola for at least a minute. What I'm gathering from this ad is that, as soon as you take one sip of Coke or Coke Zero, you start having a huge uncontrollable epileptic seizure for a whole 4 seconds, which also involves speaking in tongues, saying incomprehensible crap like "Za Zang!". No thanks, Coke, I'll just stick to my red cordial.
Patrick Keeley (aka PJK)
In 1972 a crack commando was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit.
This man promptly escaped a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government, he survives as a soldier of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe you can hire... PJK.
Michael Challis (aka Challi)
In the worlds before Challi, primal chaos reigned. Heavens sought order.
But the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown. The four
worlds formed again and yet again, as endless aeons wheeled and passed.
Time and the pure essence of Heaven, the moisture of the Earth, the
powers of the Sun and the Moon all worked upon a certain rock, old as
creation. And it became magically fertile. That first egg was named
"Thought". Tathagata Buddha, the Father Buddha, said, "With our
thoughts, we make the World". Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch.
From it came a stone Challi.
The nature of Challi was irrepressible!
Cbox
The quote at the top of the page is from the comments section of this post. I have no idea who 'skublet' is.
May God have mercy on us all.
